Please Don’t Mock Me

So the other day Kelly sent me an email about the Illuminati, a group that has allowed Rihanni and Jay-Z to become to popular and influential due to the fact that they sold their souls to the devil or whatever.  I showed J$ last night who then proceeded to have me listen to some of Tupac’s music which alludes to the fact that the Illuminati were after him.  Justin also told me that Tupac faked his own death and is now hiding in Cuba to escape these people.

Since I basically had nothing to do at work today, I found it appropriate to do some research.  I honestly think that these bitches are RIGHT.  Tupac’s “death” was very staged. It was in Las Vegas! And his body was “cremated.” And really, who releases this many albums post-death? Oh, and in 2009 TMZ (who I trust) posted this photo from New Orleans:

I really hope that this is all true, especially the part when Tupac returns in 2014. How sweet would that be?  So, in conclusion,

It should also be disclosed that I also believe that Paul McCartney is actually dead and that a lookalike contest winner actually continued his career as a Beatle and the role of husband to the lunatic Heather Mills.  Oh, and I think Rihanna is super-annoying and that she definitely would have to sell her soul to the devil to become as popular as she is today.

Also note that I have a college degree and this is how I spent my lunch break.



  1. Cut to: TML Jr. blacked out chanting “I BE LI EVE”.

    Rihanna probably sold her soul to bang Shia. I mean, who blames her?

    • TML Jr also a gangsta and would know lots re: Thug Life

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